I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize