he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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