now i know why i became what i already was.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
