"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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