Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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