I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
