some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize