Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
