I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you win again, gameday.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
