wanna go halves on a baby?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
