i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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