lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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