the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
