I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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