So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
