Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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