I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize