Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
