can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize