EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
