A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
