are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
