I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
