I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't think brook has ever known best
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
