On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
