You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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