We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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