i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
