I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
where does the pee come out of this thing
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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