You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This is the high leading the old right now
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
