i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
