life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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