When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
