im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
