sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
