Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
