is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Send help, water and tortillas.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I came so hard my ears popped.
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