break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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