Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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