I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
