it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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