the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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