He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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