Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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