if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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