@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
