doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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