All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize