Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
