is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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