Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My bed smells like the plague
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