Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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