3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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