i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
