forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
God, I missed his penis.
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