just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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