that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
