if you like me you must not know who I am
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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