Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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