some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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