Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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